Lunch at the Zoo

When eating at the zoo, one must temper expectations a bit. Sure, you may find the typical fairground oddities: ice cream, deep-fried whatnots and refined sugar in various forms, from fluffs of cotton candy to brightly coloured, teeth rotting gorillas. That is all I expected while strolling through the San Antonio Zoo on a recent sunny day, still buzzing from a behind-the-scenes tour that included some quality time with a giant tortoise named Willie. And really, that would have been just fine. After all, it is reasonable to consider petting a tortoise as the highlight of any day. Expecting more would just be greedy.

This is Willie. As you can see, he enjoyed a good tickle.

It was a bit of a treat, then, to find an elote cart, smack in the middle of the park. What is elote, I hear you ask? Welp, for those who don’t know, allow to explain via some facts that I'm fairly sure are mostly true:

1. A large swath of what we today know as Texas used to belong to Mexico.

2. That is until the United States of yesteryear gained control of that same land by employing the time tested tactic of just fucking taking it.

3. Mexican heritage remains a prevalent culture in South Texas, including the food.

4. Mexican cooking is inseparable from corn. By law, corn must be incorporated into every dish, some how, some way, and the punishment for failure to do so is severe. The details are not important.

5. The Spanish word for corn is elote (pronounced eh-loh-teh).

And there we are. Five degrees of separation between the San Antonio Zoo and this exceptionally savoury snack.

I prefer my elote in a cup. It creates more room for buttery, fatty goodness.

Mind you, this is no ordinary corn. Elote is corn with a coat of explosive flavour. It is corn in its finest form, dressed in its Sunday best. Anybody who disputes otherwise or even suggests that there is a better way to serve corn is wrong, clearly incapacitated and should not be allowed near heavy machinery or children.

It is commonly sold as street food from a cart, and so it is also quite simple to make at home. You can find tons of recipes on-line, though I can tell you now it is no more or less than roasted corn lathered in  butter, mayonnaise, garlic, salt, lime, cilantro (AKA coriander), cayenne pepper, chili powder, and a crumbly cheese. 

About that cheese: I can’t stress the “crumbly” bit here strong enough, folks. It has to crumble and not melt, otherwise all you’ll have is cheesy corn and your disappointment will know no end.The best cheese is cotija cheese but that will be hard to find outside of these parts, so Feta can work as a substitute.

Certainly, it wasn't the best elote I've ever had. It was the zoo, afterall. With that said, it was serviceable and I didn't mind it being the first elote sampled by Miss Meathead. When pressed for her take, she offered a verdict as short and sweet as Miss Meathead herself: "A little cup of sunshine".  

Best wishes for 2014, dudes. 

-meathead.